As I wandered through the “sexuality” section of Barnes and Noble with Idriss, his family friend and Logan, we happened upon some book describing the “Canoe Canoodle”. So as the book describes it, you get in a canoe, you park it in a secure location “near the bank” and then you um, canoodle. Sounds hot, sounds exciting, sounds like an awesome way to fall into the water. Or at least, based on my canoeing experiences. But anyway, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that Canoodle is a synonym for grope, a very useful word, especially if you know amy. Grope, and the generic physical motion it describes, can encompass at least 2nd base, if not a fair bit of 3rd. It has the right amount of vulgarity that feel up doesn’t — feel up sounds like something a nurse could do, but grope is obviously rough and sexual. Canoodle, has none of grope’s connotations of violence, but it is just as awesome. Just imagine who might say canoodle. No one. It’s way too cute. I mean, it’s a fucking portmanteau of “caress” and “noodle”.But the cuteness is exactly what makes canoodle awesome. It’s why random mother fuckers(like David) are enticed by catholic school girls. It’s the allure of crazy pent up sexual energy masked by childlike innocence and rosaries. It’s irony and juxtaposition. For example, suppose you heard the statement “I canoodled your sister on Air India”. Compare that with “I groped your sister on Air India”. The first statement sounds funny at first, because it has noodle and noodles are fun and slippery. But then the true implication(your sister getting molested on an airplane) hits you, even harder, because you thought it was funny at first(sort of like biting into a rock thinking it was candy). The second — there’s no surprise. You know that something bad was about to be described from the moment grope was uttered.So in light of this, I plan to stop using grope as an all encompassing term and use canoodle at least 50% of the time.
